I dont get it...

I feel like I am "sufficating" in my current life... I don't feel like me... I don't feel authentic... I feel like I'm living inside of a shell... I will do what I want to do from now on!! I am an adult but I am still me... I don't want to die... My creativity and spirit are being drained from me everyday... I don't like my life's itinerary and I am changing it!! I AM TIRED OF PEOPLE KNOWING WHAT'S BEST FOR ME BUT NOT KNOWING ME. I WILL NOT JUST GROW UP AND DIE... I will live!! ...not just for me... Not just for my daughter... I will life the life have been given FULLY!  The music and movement and fun in my life died... The best parts of me died... But I will comeback!! I will not just fade into the background... I am unique and I must live.