I have prided myself on being somewhat self-aware, however, as I look back of my few years of existence... I see how my true weakness is wanting, catering and enveloping myself with "my man". The reason for the quotation marks is simple. These men at least 95% that I have been pining for, wanting, pleasing or trying to please have TRULY never been mine... or wanted to be. I get so wrapped up in his eyes, his humor, his conversation, his embrace, his masculinity, his arms, his lips... I just lose sight of everything else... I forget my goals... I forget deadlines... I forget ME... I thank GOD for protecting me as much as he has from relationships or "understandings" (what a lot of men I have dealt with have called our interactions) that would have brought me further and further from HIM.
The same way men say that women are addictive... a good man has been my Kryptonite since I could remember... I just ask humble for my Lord and Saviour to just continue to guide me and isolate me if HE feels that's necessary. Lord... do I want marriage or am I just getting old and hormones are attacking my brain?
