July 11th Update

Today is Thursday... I got a text from Voldemort. He wants to know if he can take Apple to a family reunion this weekend. The answer is no. There isn't enough time to prepare my daughter's hair and clothes. All I am asking for is dates, times and coutesy. My requirements are resonable. I will not back down from simple courtesy and respect.  I need more warning and I believe in being prepared. We are going to court to establish visitation and I am truly believing GOD for guidance. This does not rule out my female intuition. I am opening my eyes, ears and heart to GOD. Lord, order my decisions and guide my heart.

Sex... Why is it so powerful? Where are are our toools to fight against immorality?

Sex... Why it seems so powerful...
1. We want to be loved
2. we want to be included
3. Want to be and to feel special
4. you want to please and be pleased

Bootline: We were decieved...

true love and fulfilment is from being and becoming who GOD preordained for us to be!!!

Psalm 119 - the toolkit 😏

Catharsis

This is NOT the life that I thought I would have at this age... I'm getting too old for my dream... I'm going to be too old to finish school... Too old to get married and have children from my husband... I can't teach my daughter about dating because I have not dated or been woed or courted and it must be my fault... I'm too old for my dream... It hurts me to feel like this... I'm too old to dance... I'm too old to be attractive... I am too old to want more... I am too old to not have a house or any kind of decent credit... I am too old to not have answers to my questions... I am too old to not know what I want... I am too old to get the job of my dreams... I am not pretty enough to get a husband... What man will want me now? I'm not fun enough or interesting enough for a man to want only me... I am not smart enough to get scholarships or qualify for financial aid... I have been a Christian FOREVER and I STILL don't know Gods voice or his plan for me or why in the world he wants me to be here...but... I'm staying and I'm trying and I'm not giving up!!!!!!!! I want a puppy! ...I know this may sound stupid... But I want a puppy because he will love me and show me affection and want to be around me everyday and not want to leave me... Is that so wrong?

Decisions... final flag

I have been dragging my feet, but I must be honest with myself...

1. He doesn't sound happy when he talks to me
2. He doesn't smile at me anymore
3. I feel like he just feels sorry for me
4. I feel tolerated not cared for...
5. The extra curricular activities are beyond compare... but it's not enough
6. I will NEVER be invited ANYWHERE
7. What do I amicably do?

Do I need to sit down and talk with him about anything? I really don't think so... he's ALREADY a shadow... and I don't need pity... something inside me says just stop calling... is that the answer? Do we really NEED to be good friends... acquaintances has been enough... I will NEVER meet his true core of friends... but do I want to... why does this hurt?? ...because of the sex... not because of any memories

Red Flag

God said no... I think I was looking ar him one day and I swear I hear a smooth, calm and stern NO.

Red Flag

See... this is why don't like to start helpin' folks because it end up being a transaction... I might as well set up a monthly disbursement...

I had asked for some gas money to see what he'd say...

Red Flag

All children will have the same name... whether male or female