I woke up feeling hopeless, useless and impotent

 Y'all... I am still on the journey to the Billionaire Business Babe lifestyle... I am choosing more than ever to REALLY SEEK GOD'S VOICE. I... Just know in my heart, my mind, my spirit that God can talk to me. God does talk to me. God wants to talk to me. I have been feeling like a lazy no good hoarder of talents.

I woke up feeling like I have wasted my life... And talents 

I feel like I'm not successful because...

1. I'm not married 
2. I don't have a house
3. I'm not rich yet
4. I haven't really solidified a product for my business to sell
5. Consistent with my podcast
6. Quit teaching and started to work from home
7. I don't work from home
8. I don't have a large savings account
9. I don't have my PhD
10. I'm not a college professor 
11. I'm don't hear God like I want
12. I don't have a good Morning routine 

On the contrary, I feel great about...

1. having a great car (God did it)
2. Veronica's relationship and fire for God (God did it)
3. Traveling a lot this summer with 🍏 and to visit family (God financed it)
4. Veronica's senior pictures are gorgeous (God financed it)
5. I am walking 10,000 steps a day... Almost every day (God empowers me)
6. Actively pursuing my health journey 
7. My YouTube channel has over 191 videos (God empowers)

My priorities for remainder of 2024

1. Create morning routine that honors God and reinforces my health
2. Complete Keys to Everything Book and implement keys
3. Complete MS/PhD Applications and sent them off!!
4. Complete KEU with fidelity
5. Complete year of the bride fast with fidelity
6. Complete $0 - $100k programs steps with fidelity
7. Microlocs Installation for Veronica and Myself
8. Make $1000 consistently each month

Lord, please help me. Please.

 Lord, I really wanna be supper close to you, not like how superfans wanna be close to their favorite comic book characters, but how kids wanna be by their dad. Please, continue to lead and guide me into ALL truth and I thank you for ALL you have ALREADY done... but I REALLY want and INTMATE relationship with you God, my daddy, my father, my source of comfort and friendship and safety. Thank you for hearing me.

#2024 RECORD BREAKING YEAR!!!!!!!

 i am not sure if i documented this yet but MAY HEAVEN and EARTH record this day that 2024 is THEE record breaking year for me in EVERY AREA of my life!!!

• my closeness to GOD ALMIGHTY will be increase so much because... I WANT HIM! ...and HE loves me.
• i will use my prayer language daily for at least 30mins
• i will read the Bible daily
• i will complete what I start
• i will count the cost!!

The People Pillar... Relationships That Matter...

So... as part of "Pillar Master 2023" we are learning, exploring and being authentic about the relationships we are a part of and how to cultivate the good and dethrone the distractions. Every relationship has meaning and value.

To be completely transparent... I have NOT been trusting ANYONE... for a while and I am ready to trust... little by little I am being honest about what I really want.

1. I want a man with a great sense of humor

2. A man who is PRE-saved and has a relationship with The Father, Son and Holy Ghost

3. A man who is intelligent in what he does...

4. A man who is loving and kind

5. A man who likes to travel and willing to teach and show me things

6. A man in great shape mentally, physically, emotionally and financially

7. A man of faith who hears and obeys God... the priest of my home

With prayer and supplication... I am making my requests KNOWN unto God.

2023... stepping into the Bigger, Better, Braver Me... with God

        So... I have been in a few courses and I am currently in Pillar Mastery with Patrice... and yo... so much is happening in my life and in my perspective and I am grateful to God for every mountain, molehill and misunderstanding... but i know that I will success in FAITH. I am succeeding because... I believe in God and He has ordained for me to be MORE that what I have been the last 10+ 10+ years. 

      A lot has happened since I've last posted in my digital diary... I have started a podcast. I am eating healthier that I ever have in my whole life... raw and uncooked foods for lunch EVERY time I eat lunch. I am getting ready to become a Clinical Ed. Mentor for teachers and... I will be moving SOON.

     I am open to marriage... as long as Father God, Thee Holy Spirit and Jesus... my ONLY big brother is guiding me.

2021 - I met someone... August 31st

 These are words that I though I would NEVER say... I've met someone and he is awesome. He is handsome, fun, super intelligent, loves and honors God. Is a wonderful father to his children. His perspective and outlook on life is wonderful. Yes... I keep an optimistic slant on ALL of my self talk. Yes, I speak positive words and ideals and goals out loud... however... I never thought I would meet someone I would like to marry. It's cool and now... 

I'm cooling off. 

We would speak often. I liked it, but... i think our conversation has waxed cold. It's all good though. He is an awesome person. I appreciate him and the time he has shared with me. Historically, I move EXTREMELY FAST when I am interested in someone... this guy. He is different. He sees the long game and intends to play it.

Lately, I've been experiencing some radio silence... I am choosing to be silent in return. I will not continue to reach out if you are just busy. I GET IT... things happen... but this feels different. Who knows... if i did or said something wrong... the truth will come out in the end. Until then... i need to keep my head.

My love life is an area of my life that has been fraught with indecision, poor decisions and epic pain. I am choosing to allow GOD and HIS word to lead guide me and direct me. I do want to get married but not at the expense of my sanity, standards and faith. I surrender my wants and needs and desires to God.

...and to be honest... ya girl can over react and go from 0 to 1000 really quick... just taking my time and navigating what I want and need with what God wants and needs and what my man (feels weird ti say that), my partner, my soulmate wants and needs.

Prayer Targets 03.20.2020

• A baby crying and yelling… calm and heal… sweet spirit… for that child
• Have a Steadfast…SPIRIT…
• Vanessa mind, strength…
• GOD IS MOVING!! Church, Business, Personal… contact with the government
• Call student loan folks/credit folks/reposition!! STRATEGIES!!

Out with the old...

So... met up with an old friend of mine, with whom i thought we could be in a relationship. I had planned to keep everything PG but it ended up with a higher rating. I did not think this encounter through. I cannot meet with a man who I KNOW does not share my beliefs, ideals and dreams in an intimate settings. This man and others like him are not bad people. They are not for me.

https://youtu.be/3v3T_KxvFyM

I have been afraid that I will end up alone for a long time. I cannot let fear ruin my reputation, honesty, integrity and walk with God. I have to be honest with God, myself and others.

Truth Nugget #1 - I want to be happily married.
Truth Nugget #2 - I want companionship.
Truth Nugget #3 - I want God to let me know if i'm going to be a spinster for the rest of my life... like... If I ain't be to be no wife... PLEASE... let me know. Let me know-ow. (Aaliyah voice over)
Truth Nugget #4 - I want a honeymoon... like super fabulous... Fiji/Australia/Aspen...

Declaration Nugget #1 - My husband is a Man of God, who hears God's voice and actively attends church, prays and worships God in spirit and in truth.
Declaration Nugget #2 - My marriage is a ministry.
Declaration Nugget #7 - My husband ministers to me and my family members through his life and speech.
Declaration Nugget #8 - My husband is handsome!!

hello... i'm still here... 2019 update

Good Morning...

well, well, well,  its been a mighty long time since we last spoke. A few things have changed in my life...

1. purchased EBA (elite blog academy)... havent started any assignments yet
• started the bootcamp... 
• need to complete the assignments
2. been feeling industrious...
• cleaned out my room partially... i can see the bed and part of the floor
• laundry is being whittled down to managable chunks
• using my planners weekly... working on using it daily
3. House Goals... Future Landlord
• minimalism inspired and infused decor!
• AirBNB to fund my dream home - rental Property used to pay mortgage and buy more rental opportunity properties
4. my life goals have reemerged as they always do around my birthday
• billlionaire business woman - thats who i am
• i have a EIN - working the kinks out
• my corporation's name is Umble Amazon Industries, Inc.
1. will be opening a bank account in my company name by April 15th
2. will start building business credit... ASAP
• purchased the website UmbleAmazon.com... i am excited... now its time to walk it out
5. PETS!! - puppies and persian kitties
6. been repairing my credit and looking at my finances... time to repair and stop hiding
7. been thinking about getting my PHD again
• the joint MS/PHD program at FAU
• re-evaluate my major/minor: Mechanical Engineering: Robotics & Animation
8. Entrepreneur: Wear the Word of God via InspirationAbbey
• inspiring.fun/funny messages on apparel and merchandise
• BBW: Billionaire Business Woman
9. Be A Billionaire Business Woman
10. My Business Profits will put me and Veronica through school
11. Set Up Endowments for
• my family scholarship plan/funds
• my family - 1st time homeowner plan/funds
• young woman mentor-ship village for - single women/mothers who wish to return to school and need a support system
12. Train up my daughter in the fear and admonition of the Lord
13. Be summertime fine year round!!
• I AM changing my diet, better quality of food, less empty calories
14. HEAR THE VOICE OF GOD CLEARLY

2 WEEKS of POWER!!

My GOD!!!

My God has been answering prayers. I don't even remember praying for what I received. I know my soul and spirit have been refreshed and replenished. Thank you Lord!!

My mother sent me a text that the car is free! All I need to do is get my license and insurance and title together. The 2 week fast of 2019 was been so awesome!!

2020 Vision!!!

THIS is what the year 2020 will look like for me!! and HOW to make it so!!

Marriage...

so... i'm going to be be brutally honest with myself on this one. As a child, i figured I'd

1. goto college
2. get a really cool awesome job that pays $$$$$$$
3. meet a really nice and handsome guy
4. get married
5. get EXTRA $$$$$ together
6. have 5 sons

my reality... is... different

1. goto college... 
• but I didn't finish till 10 years  later... and not in the degree i really wanted
2. I've had cool internships that paid $$$
• no job to this date has been really cool or awesome
• and the pay was just enough to no panhandle... but i AM tempted
• DREAM ABOUT HOW TO... get a really cool awesome job that pays $$$$$$$
3. meet a really nice and handsome guy
4. I've meet nice and handsome guys...
• but they had different religious beliefs and that's important to ME
• the had a plethora of other women, girls and men? in the background and foreground
5. get married
• NOPE... the people who asked were WAaaaaaaAaaaay... too desparate
• or... were already married... they left that detail out... my fault for not asking... of course
6. get EXTRA $$$$$ together
• gotta wait for #5... there is still hope for this one
7. have 5 sons
• WELL... i have 1 daughter... 'nuff 'said

...and now... i wonder if marriage is even for me? i would like to be a part of the marriage isotope that works... but i have a growing suspision... it may not happen... and i'm good... i just need to work on the existing relationships I have and feed and nurture those. 

The Modesto Manifesto

Here are the four key components of the Modesto Manifesto, along with notes that Cliff Barrows jotted down in their meeting:

1. Honesty: "It was resolved that all communications to media and to the church would not be inflated or exaggerated. The size of crowds and the number of inquirers would not be embellished for the sake of making -BGEA- look better."

2. Integrity: "It was resolved that financial matters would be submitted to a board of directors for review and facilitation of expenditures. Every local crusade would maintain a policy of 'open books' and publish a record of where and how monies were spent."

3. Purity: "It was resolved that members of the team would pay close attention to avoiding temptation—never being alone with another woman, remaining accountable to one another, etc. A practice of keeping wives informed of their activities on the road and helping them feel a part of any and all crusades they undertook would be encouraged."

4. Humility: "It was resolved that members of the team were never to speak badly of another Christian minister, regardless of his denominational affiliation or differing theological views and practices. The mission of evangelism includes strengthening the body of Christ as well as building it!"

What is GOD saying to his people...

÷1st÷there is an attack on the body of Christ... ON EMOTIONS
-Be still
-Be obedient
-Get in my word
-Remain in the spirit
-Pray for EACH OTHER

÷2nd÷luke 5:1thru7
-Jesus taught from the ship
-he got in the ship and seperated himself from the people a lil distance...
-the ⛵ had to be empty for JESUS
-to have room for JESUS to take over
-after the teaching... Cast out your nets... THEN the boat was filled
-God 👀 👉me

÷3rd÷ GOD knows what is going on... GOD is there/here... Speak into the atmosphere

÷4th÷ Jesus taught them... Expounded on all things... Gave them... Things happen for the words' sake... Be confident in the word GOD gave you. Those things that you know and have learned of me... DO.

÷5th÷ I have it ALL in control... Says the Lord. It's not what it looks like. Get in position for GOD to work. Examine yourself...◄ 2 Corinthians 13:5 ► Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you--unless, of course, you fail the test?

÷6th÷stand fast and be unmoveable always abounding...

÷me÷devil wants to divert you attention and time from your priorities

the sacred echo ...Margaret Feinberg

We recognize God's voice best when we spend time listening to what He has to say through Scripture on a daily basis. (p.24)

Information Systems Technical Support Technician @Publix

ISTS Technicians keep store technology up and running so Publix can properly serve our customers.

Contributions

ISTS Technicians provide technical service support to Publix stores for a defined geographical territory. They do this by performing service calls, installations, upgrades and backups of software and hardware applications for computers and printers. ISTS Technicians also troubleshoot software and hardware failures and identify network problems. Another important aspect of the ISTS Technician's job is to maintain customer confidentiality regarding HIPAA, debit and credit payment records, PIN security, and ATM records.

Qualifications we look for

• Associates degree in Computer Science or equivalent experience
• One year of PC/Technical support experience
• Be at least 20 years of age
• Possess valid driver license and maintain an excellent driving record
• Knowledge of Active Directory
• Knowledge of IT hardware and industry standards
• Knowledge of Windows XP / Windows 7
• Ability to troubleshoot issues
• Basic cable management skills
• Certifications in the field of electronics or Computer Science such as Cisco Certification, A+ Certification, Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer, HP Certification, or Lexmark Certification
• Knowledge of Publix retail store operations
• Experience using problem reporting and ticketing systems
• Experience supporting Active Directory, GPO, OU - access, rights, permissions
• Good organizational, time management, problem solving and analytical skills
• Excellent verbal and written communication skills
• Ability to work independently and as part of a team
• Ability to be flexible and handle a high volume of work accurately
• Ability to work under pressure to meet deadline
• Ability to work evenings, weekends and holidays as needed
• Ability to lift up to 75 lbs
• Ability to work well with others and be a team member
• Obvious enthusiasm, initiative and pride in work

How to apply

Please go to the Publix Jobs Center to begin searching our openings.