🎶🎶🎶Baby I'm Back!!

Today... missed church, but listened to my daughter and then YOUversion MSG read the Bible. Yo... i am NOT giving up!!! 

Yo... i am 46 years old and I don't have what I though I would at this age... so... hmmmm... I'm going to keep fasting, praying and being consistent. This consistency journey has been EYE opening. I can see where i have NOT made connects in life because I stopped.

• I could be fluent in español... if I practices 3 times a week, but I stopped.

• I could have received my PhD in Mechanical Engineering if I had not stopped.

• I could have the ballet/fitness model/400m hurdler physique I want... if I had started!!

• I believe my relationship with GOD would be SO MUCH MORE... if I stop stopping.

• I would have digital products, e-courses and e-books if I stop stopping.

• My podcast would be consistent if I stop stopping.

• I would have a REAL blog if I stopped stopping.

• I would have completed many purchased e-courses if I had STOPPED STOPPING.

So... I am going to write the vision and make it plain... print it out and place it everywhere. To see and do... I will be detailed and GO TO GOD FIRST... I do not like feeling like I've wasted my life and skills and talents... Lord, help me.

I did the VISION STORY COURSE... while i was a member of the 48 days community and I WILL be revisiting it. This is my Write the Vision and Make it Plain Pathway... Due to an impending Black Out... I will be printing it out so I can do it with fidelity.

Lord God, please do not let me waste my life, years and talents running after the cares of life and NEVER abiding in your presence or fulfilling YOUR mandates for my life. Please, help me Lord. I do not want to waste my life, abilities, talents, gifts or anything else. I want what you want for me Lord.

I woke up feeling hopeless, useless and impotent

 Y'all... I am still on the journey to the Billionaire Business Babe lifestyle... I am choosing more than ever to REALLY SEEK GOD'S VOICE. I... Just know in my heart, my mind, my spirit that God can talk to me. God does talk to me. God wants to talk to me. I have been feeling like a lazy no good hoarder of talents.

I woke up feeling like I have wasted my life... And talents 

I feel like I'm not successful because...

1. I'm not married 
2. I don't have a house
3. I'm not rich yet
4. I haven't really solidified a product for my business to sell
5. Consistent with my podcast
6. Quit teaching and started to work from home
7. I don't work from home
8. I don't have a large savings account
9. I don't have my PhD
10. I'm not a college professor 
11. I'm don't hear God like I want
12. I don't have a good Morning routine 

On the contrary, I feel great about...

1. having a great car (God did it)
2. Veronica's relationship and fire for God (God did it)
3. Traveling a lot this summer with 🍏 and to visit family (God financed it)
4. Veronica's senior pictures are gorgeous (God financed it)
5. I am walking 10,000 steps a day... Almost every day (God empowers me)
6. Actively pursuing my health journey 
7. My YouTube channel has over 191 videos (God empowers)

My priorities for remainder of 2024

1. Create morning routine that honors God and reinforces my health
2. Complete Keys to Everything Book and implement keys
3. Complete MS/PhD Applications and sent them off!!
4. Complete KEU with fidelity
5. Complete year of the bride fast with fidelity
6. Complete $0 - $100k programs steps with fidelity
7. Microlocs Installation for Veronica and Myself
8. Make $1000 consistently each month

Lord, please help me. Please.

 Lord, I really wanna be supper close to you, not like how superfans wanna be close to their favorite comic book characters, but how kids wanna be by their dad. Please, continue to lead and guide me into ALL truth and I thank you for ALL you have ALREADY done... but I REALLY want and INTMATE relationship with you God, my daddy, my father, my source of comfort and friendship and safety. Thank you for hearing me.

#2024 RECORD BREAKING YEAR!!!!!!!

 i am not sure if i documented this yet but MAY HEAVEN and EARTH record this day that 2024 is THEE record breaking year for me in EVERY AREA of my life!!!

• my closeness to GOD ALMIGHTY will be increase so much because... I WANT HIM! ...and HE loves me.
• i will use my prayer language daily for at least 30mins
• i will read the Bible daily
• i will complete what I start
• i will count the cost!!

still a fitness model

What I want to do with my life.... There are a few things that I have not changed my mind about. I want to be in the best shape possible. I want to have my full range of flexibility and I want my muscles to be fully toned. I do not want to feel old and sad and stiff and broken down. I will be a fitness model. I will be dedicated to the exercise regimen. I'll be dedicated to eating healthy and drinking water. I'll be dedicated to traveling and enjoying my life too!

Lord... Cleanse My Bloodline🙏🙏🙏

About this morning...

So, this morning when I woke up I was listening to a YouTube message. The strange thing about it was that it was a message that I almost had listened to another time. It was called like how to have a yoke breaking anointing or something like that...

Here's the link to the video I saw this morning 🌄

I thank God for confirming that it's not too late... and how to follow God... and how to overcome fear... Prosperity is for ME!! EVERYTHING IS WORKING FOR MY GOOD.

I am also a watchman on the tower. I need to be a cheetah 🐆... The cheetah I am runs so fast... 50% on the ground... 50% in the air... Which means... I must spend MORE AND MOST of my time in the spirit.

Nothing is possible in the spirit... God can and will and does accelerate folks... His children... This includes me... A long wait is not always a delay... But... No matter what I must be:

1. Passionate

2. Compassionate

3. Aggressive

4. Holy

5. Humble... Pride kills and God resist the proud

6. No thing is IMPOSSIBLE 

👍1828 Webster Dictionary

👍The Passion Translation

...the NIV is leaving out scriptures... Beware... "Nearly Inspired Version" 😆

Any translation that cancels out the power of God ain't it.

Dr. Kevin Sadai👀👀👀

Good Morning Holy Spirit...

 I woke up this morning with a strong desire to do something to help... in the world... I KNOW that I can pray so I am starting from there.

What can I do? I can pray.

I also has a dream... I got on the airplane with a with Toccoa without a ticket... we went to some Spanish speaking country... In the dream, they claimed Felicia Rashad as a citizen... the airplane suddenly started taking of and I was like... "They taking of with me in here?!... I don't have a ticket." I was thinking oh well... free trip for me. When we got there is was like we were in Nicaragua or San Salvador... the places with guerilla warfare back in the 80's. 

I was walking around admiring the buildings and architecture and landscape, but something seemed off or hidden. People looked like they were working but weary and wary of what may happen soon. In my gut... I wanted to go home... Suddenly I was in a classroom like place and they were showing horrible imageson the smart board of lots of teenage people attacking... they were dressed like... the kids i've seen in iran and iraq in the 80's... lots of running and beating people up and raping women and girls if they could detect that they were women and girls... BUT LOTS AND LOTS of BEATINGS... savage beating with their hands and feet.

Instantly,  i was like i need to get to the airport and leave... but i have no car and no money... and i must avoid these bad people disguised as teenagers having fun.

I asked someone where to go to get to the airport... after he told me where the airport was... everyone's face around me started to disappear. I was like blurry and no features... As I say that happening... i realized these no face people were trying to surround me and hold me. I start to run and then i broke away from them...

i started doing parkour to getaway from these "people"...whenever they tried to surround me... i would climb over them... i kNEW i could NOT let them get me... i kept running, climbing, hiding... then woke up... althrough the dream I KNEW i had super abilities that can help me get away... just as long as i don't give up

Dream... Dream... Dream!!

So many dreams last night and the nights before... I ask that God brings them back to my remembrance as well as their interpretation.

THURSDAY NIGHT TO FRIDAY MORNING 

   I do remember a dream about me and Veronica in a "new house" or different big house... in raggedy neighborhood but big 3 bedroom house. As we were getting ready for bed, I noticed Veronica (an elementary school age-version of her) got into my bed. I saw some familiar looking guy in a bedroom of the house. He was like... "I came here to help ya'll out and make sure ya'll safe." This did not make sense to me but, I didn't ask him to leave. This was strange because in my mind I was thinking... who is this? how did he get in? why is he here? who is gonna be here when he is here? what if Veronica comes home from school and he is there? Even with these thoughts, I did not ask him to leave. I did notice he was on the phone with someone before I went to bed. I thought it was his girlfriend.

    Veronica slept in the bed with me. In the morning, the police were ALL OVER my house. That guy had been chopped up and murdered in my home!!!!!!!!!! They were putting the cubic pieces of him into a clear plastic evidence bag. No police questioned me. No one even tried to talk to me about what happened to that dude.

My interpretation: God eliminated a familiar spirit in my life... No spirit husband or evil covenant for me and my house. Thank you Lord.

Two days later... I was dream about traveling with friends and family. A lot of good natured fun when a gentleman that I lust after showed up in my dream. He tried to take me somewhere to be intimate and I CAUGHT MYSELF IN THE DREAM!!!!!!! I said I will NOT sin or be impure or dishonor God. I will not restore ANY EVIL COVENANT!! This "guy" was trying to get me to have sex and just "let go" and "enjoy" NO SIR!!!!!!!!

I renounce this dream in the NAME of Jesus. I repent from all unclean desires and sin in Jesus Name. I break EVERY evil covenant. I MAKE A PUBLIC DECLARATION!!!!!! I am in covenant with Jesus Christ ALONE!

Check Out this Video: https://www.youtube.com/live/F74ZljJCTO8?si=et5Nf-epUmtvYRCv

Lord... hear my 🙏

 Dear God,

I really deeply and truly desire to be fully yielded to your will. Please... show me what I must change to be obedient and useful to you for the rest of my life.

Sincerely Yours,

Tee

The People Pillar... Relationships That Matter...

So... as part of "Pillar Master 2023" we are learning, exploring and being authentic about the relationships we are a part of and how to cultivate the good and dethrone the distractions. Every relationship has meaning and value.

To be completely transparent... I have NOT been trusting ANYONE... for a while and I am ready to trust... little by little I am being honest about what I really want.

1. I want a man with a great sense of humor

2. A man who is PRE-saved and has a relationship with The Father, Son and Holy Ghost

3. A man who is intelligent in what he does...

4. A man who is loving and kind

5. A man who likes to travel and willing to teach and show me things

6. A man in great shape mentally, physically, emotionally and financially

7. A man of faith who hears and obeys God... the priest of my home

With prayer and supplication... I am making my requests KNOWN unto God.

2023... stepping into the Bigger, Better, Braver Me... with God

        So... I have been in a few courses and I am currently in Pillar Mastery with Patrice... and yo... so much is happening in my life and in my perspective and I am grateful to God for every mountain, molehill and misunderstanding... but i know that I will success in FAITH. I am succeeding because... I believe in God and He has ordained for me to be MORE that what I have been the last 10+ 10+ years. 

      A lot has happened since I've last posted in my digital diary... I have started a podcast. I am eating healthier that I ever have in my whole life... raw and uncooked foods for lunch EVERY time I eat lunch. I am getting ready to become a Clinical Ed. Mentor for teachers and... I will be moving SOON.

     I am open to marriage... as long as Father God, Thee Holy Spirit and Jesus... my ONLY big brother is guiding me.

Working on my grad school applications...

So... i have a few more areas to complete before i am done with my first grad school application

Who do I REALLY want to be?

The OLD Tina is dead... she is loved and missed but... evolving into the realest she will ever be.

So... I am a member of masterminds because... I am becoming the real... Authentic Me

1. Female Entrepreneur Association ≈ $50/month
2. The Destiny Collective ≈ $50/month
3. The 48 Days Eagles ≈ $50/month

aaand... I am an avid reader and listener and learner

PODCASTS I'm Loving

• 48 days to the work and life you love
• the purpose show
• Redefining Wealth
• Sisterhood of Sweat

Books I've Read... and Listened to...This Year... So Far

• Go-Giver Marriage by John David and Ana Gabriel Mann
• The Go-Giver: A Little Story about a Powerful Business Idea by John David Mann and Bob Burg
• Why most books on how to get a PhD are full of mess by John Hockey

Here is a mini map to becoming the BEST me ever... (thanks Allie)

• Month One

• align your morning with who you are becoming...
• what does she need? 
• what does she accomplish in the morning? 
• what does she value?
• how often does she read?
• what does she read?

• Month Two

• align your body with who you are becoming
• how hydrated is she?
• what does she eat? why?
• what are her hormone and vitamin levels? 
• how often does she get her blood work REALLY checked??
• how often does she exercise?
• does she use weights?
• why is her physique and why?

• Month Three

• align your environment with who you are becoming
• do her clothes reflect HER NOW... or then...
• old and dusty stuff?
• what's her style?
• no clutter or excess mess

Weight is NOT a metric... but...

 Weight is NOT a metric... but...

Last year i weighed 224 pounds = 102 kg 

This year i currently weigh 211 pounds = 96 kg

Next year... i'm looking to get to 135 pound = 61 kg!!!!

• with flat stomach
• no lovely handles
• no arm jiggles
• increased ENERGY
• increased flexibility

The Last Christmas Party 2021

 so... i went... i was excited and expecting lost of good music and food and laughs... i was disappointed... but why? As i look back over the evening... i realize i came in with the right spirit and intention. Made some folks laugh and i laughed too. food was pretty good. So... what made it turn left for me?

The gift exchange... they did the white elephant... its was supposed to be fun... but... the vibe changed drastically... to me... got me wondering if I am extra sensitive... I wasn't a part of it... but being near it felt yucky.

During and after the gift exchange everyone cliqued up and i was on my own. Now... let's be HONEST. I'm not the best socializer nor do i want to be... I just like having a vibe and certain ebery around me. Being in the pandemic and in my classroom as the main contributor to my environment has made me spoiled in a way... I need to learn how to navigate social stuff again.

I don't want to be in no man's land. I want to have friends that contribute to my life and me to theirs... and i DO have these folks. I was blindsided by the "you don't fit in with us" middle and high school flashback that occured at the end of the night.

Then, I also realized that I have vowed to spend more quiet time with God daily and i haven't. No need to lie or make it cute. I have been neglecting my quiet meditation time in God's presence through worship music and silence. I was NOT prepared or insulated enough in my spirit to handle last night's situation.

I have been praying for continual closeness with God and to hear HIS voice and choose HIS ways. I cannot renege and not continue this oath and promise that I made to God. No One made me do it. I said and I prayed that I would devote my life to seeking God in and through ALL things. 

Me having fun and seeking fulfilment and love and to be embraced by people who i do not spend ANY time with is a lunatic's fantasy.

I'm with God first. Then, through his lense and protection and provision, life is made beautiful and palatable and abundant.

2021 - I met someone... August 31st

 These are words that I though I would NEVER say... I've met someone and he is awesome. He is handsome, fun, super intelligent, loves and honors God. Is a wonderful father to his children. His perspective and outlook on life is wonderful. Yes... I keep an optimistic slant on ALL of my self talk. Yes, I speak positive words and ideals and goals out loud... however... I never thought I would meet someone I would like to marry. It's cool and now... 

I'm cooling off. 

We would speak often. I liked it, but... i think our conversation has waxed cold. It's all good though. He is an awesome person. I appreciate him and the time he has shared with me. Historically, I move EXTREMELY FAST when I am interested in someone... this guy. He is different. He sees the long game and intends to play it.

Lately, I've been experiencing some radio silence... I am choosing to be silent in return. I will not continue to reach out if you are just busy. I GET IT... things happen... but this feels different. Who knows... if i did or said something wrong... the truth will come out in the end. Until then... i need to keep my head.

My love life is an area of my life that has been fraught with indecision, poor decisions and epic pain. I am choosing to allow GOD and HIS word to lead guide me and direct me. I do want to get married but not at the expense of my sanity, standards and faith. I surrender my wants and needs and desires to God.

...and to be honest... ya girl can over react and go from 0 to 1000 really quick... just taking my time and navigating what I want and need with what God wants and needs and what my man (feels weird ti say that), my partner, my soulmate wants and needs.

My Juneteenth Revelation - Tulsa & Rosewood Massacres

Remember... It is NOT "Black people just don't like each other" or "Black folks ain't got no ambition" or "We don't work together like other cultures" 

We have been SYSTEMATICALLY and INSTITUTIONALLY terrorized and attacked for at LEAST 2 centuries in the U.S. of A.

DO NOT believe the propaganda and lies... Find your tribe... Unite with them... Build that school... that business... that CITY you have always dreamed of living in!!

WE ARE... WE CAN... WE WILL.. and WE HAVE OVERCOME... We did it before... WE'LL DO IT AGAIN!  

2021 - I had covid

 and... it was awful... all i could do was drink water and wait as my energy drastically left me limp, exhausted and on fire with a consistent 101 or 102 degree fever.

I am in no man's land... time to buckle down and get professional therapy... i have been at the bottom of the same mountain for almost 15 years... i don't like it and i need help.  

2021 - it's here...

 So... for the faithful few... me, myself and I... i have a bit of an announcement. I FINALLY own pets. Two beautiful black baby girls cats... Nubia and Sakura.

Also... 2021... New Year... No Excuses... I actually danced at the New Year's Eve Service 2020. Lord, It felt so goood. Until the next day... let's just say that i am a STILL a little sore. I, also, found out that I weigh 224 lbs. THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!!!

2021 came in hot and smoking and THAT is how me, my mindset, my healthset, my spiritual insight and future will be leaving this year.

1. Take the GRE in January
2. Graduate School - Master's in Physics or MS/PHD in Mechanical Engineering
3. Weigh 135 pounds... This means lose approximately 90 pounds
4. Regain and Improve Lost Flexibility
5. On-Line Side Hustles Bring in $$$$ (Complete the Classes)
1. Facebook Side Hustle
2. Etsy Side Hustle
6. $5000/month income
7. 3 bedroom - 2 story home
8. TBA